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2 months agoLEBANON, OHIO�Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believes ... theonion.com more open pop
02:56 -7 days agoOfficials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly. ... News Room News Room. feeds.theonion.com more open pop
12 days agoLuis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, alias "Lou Dobbs," is escorted by DHS agents to the airport to be sent back to Mexico. ... Subhead Subhead. theonion.com more open pop
10 months agoThe MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel. ... Technology Technology Technology. theonion.com more open pop
16 days agoThe Latest: Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis The Latest: Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn ... really. theonion.com more open pop
1 month agoWASHINGTON�"If your grandmother would rather be euthanized in the privacy of her own home than be gutted and hanged on a high school soccer field, she is entitled to that right ... theonion.com more open pop
2 months agoDALLAS�"Huh," uttered the amused former world leader, reflecting upon how for eight years he controlled the executive branch of the most powerful nation on earth and acted as ... theonion.com more open pop
1 month agoPURCHASE, NY�PepsiCo sent shockwaves through the carbonated beverage industry Monday when the multibillion dollar corporation announced that it would cease all advertising of ... theonion.com more open pop
2 months agoZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLAND�According to oceanographers, the Arctic Circle has been devastated by the effects of global warming in recent years, threatening hundreds ... theonion.com more open pop
28 days agoROANOKE, VA�"He fought that terrible gorilla with every last ounce of strength he had, but in the end, David's body just couldn't handle it anymore," said Seaborne's tearful ... theonion.com more open pop
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